When children are younger, they express and pour all their heart’s feelings and innermost thoughts to their parents. As they grow older to their teens, they slowly and eventually stop doing so.
I Can’t Talk to My Parents
Ever feel like no matter what you say, or how you say it, your parents never really listen to you? Maybe they treat you like a child. Or, perhaps they act like they’re listening and even look you in the eyes, but really don’t “hear” anything you say. And if they do hear you, they always disagree, right? Sometimes you feel like you just can’t talk to your parents.
It’s OK! You are normal. During the teen years, the connections and interactions with parents often become strained. As you become more independent, it’s normal to develop and discuss your own ideas and theories about life — even if you don’t fully believe everything you’re saying at the time.
Still, when teens talk, parents often feel threatened. Sometimes they have a hard time letting their kids go. They may long for the days when you were young and dependent on them, and didn’t question their ideas. Sure, it’s exasperating, but you can get through it.
In an ideal situation, a home is a “testing ground” — a safe place where teens can voice their ideas and opinions, hear how they sound, and parents can objectively discuss these thoughts with them. This helps you fine-tune what you really believe. You get to lean on the wisdom that moms and dads can give from their years of living on the planet Earth.
But, wait. Who said life is ideal? Your parents are only human — just like you! They will slip up, say things they don’t mean, be critical, and have confusing emotions, just like you. Parents may also be offended when their views are challenged, especially if you catch them at a bad time (like when they are exhausted). Sure, you can feel upset with them. But keep in mind that they are your parents. They are there for you in good times and bad.
Adolescence is a period of great change for teens. But moms and dads also undergo major adjustments as they “cut the apron strings” and allow you to become independent. While you need your parents to listen to your new ideas on life, parents also have needs. They need to feel confident that you can be trusted, and will be safe without their constant guidance.
With a little tolerance and persistence, you can get your parents to listen to you and at least consider your point of view. Here are a few guidelines that might help when you talk to your parents:
If all else fails, remember to stay strong and positive. Often in life, we must do things that do not make us happy. But many times, these things turn out for the best. You will be on your own soon enough, and can make your own decisions then. Disagreements with parents can be frustrating because you love them and do not want to hurt them. At the same time, you feel the need to be yourself.
Be patient and persistent. In time, it’s likely that you and your parents will relate to each other as interdependentadults, working through your problems together. Keep in mind this quote from author Mark Twain:
Read More: I Can’t Talk to My Parents
Parents, who are not perfect individuals, are still the last persons to abandon children. Children therefore are encouraged to communicate openly with their parents. How could this be done?
How to talk more than “small talk” with my parents? – Family Life …
Whenever I ring my parents or vice versa it seems to me like they always talk what is perceived to me as “small talk”.
Eg:they will talk about the weather today and what had I eaten etc.
To me,small talk is fine when you are talking to people like a shop assistant but I don’t want to be doing it with my own parents.
For example,literally every time I speak to them they ask me whether I had eaten ( lunch or dinner or whatever) and what I had eaten and then proceed to tell me what they had eaten. To be honest,I perceive this as mundane and I couldn’t care less what people are eating for dinner or whatever.
I’m starting to get a “complex” wondering if they find me so boring and so uncomfortable to speak with that they have to resort to talking about such superficial things:(
Can anyone provide any insight or advice please?
Maybe they don’t know what would interest you. Or perhaps they don’t want to argue, so stay away from controversial topics. I can’t talk to my kids about politics, because we just can’t agree,
You might try talking to them about something that’s important to you, but not controversial, for starters. For example, a project you’re working on, or changes in your exercise routine, or meeting someone interesting. Ask them what they’re doing for fun these days. It’s hard to know what to suggest when we don’t know your respective ages. For example, if they’re in their 50s, you might talk about different things than if they’re in their 80s.(Have you filled out a Power of Attorney in case of need?) I told my son I bought a niche in a columbarium, & we discussed cremation. He found it uncomfortable, and we laughed about it. God bless.
“The pharmaceutical industry has no interest in curing diseases. The eradication of any disease inevitably destroys a multi-billion dollar market of prescription drugs. Therefore, pharmaceutical drugs are primarily developed to relieve symptoms, but not to cure.”—Dr. M. Rath; Overcome shyness and cure social anxiety. Click here.”
Still, children feel that they best not talk to their parents especially on sensitive subjects.
Am I Wrong to Not Want to Speak with My Parents …
Am I wrong to not want to speak with my parents?
Over the years I have found myself increasingly becoming emotionally distant from my parents. The reason this is, is partly because of the way things have occurred in my life growing up and the response/behaviour of my parents has made me feel stressed, guilty, inconfident and at times, unloved.
As I have grown older, I see the shortcomings of my parents in retrospect to the way that they raised myself and my siblings and this makes me question why they behaved in certain ways. I especially recall them being extremely over-protective and over-powering to the point that was unhealthy and could be seen as confidence depleting.
I even question my parents love for each other as I remember growing up as the older sibling, I had to listen to or break up my parents constant arguments, or hearing one parent talk bad about the other to me as a way for them to vent(making me feel very confused as to which parent was good/bad). I know I should love my parents by default, but I think I loved them more as a young child, being naive and not understanding things. I can’t communicate with them properly anymore and our conversations are always short and awkward. I still try to respect them and smile and behave in a good manner as much as I am able to, but the love isn’t free-flowing and doesn’t feel natural.
I am now married and have moved homes but whenever my parents try to call me over the phone I feel extremely anxious about having to talk to them. The conversation feels forced and I anticipate it ending as soon as possible. I prefer to text them instead of having to speak as even the slightest change in my tone makes them question me.
Answer: Wa’alaykum assalam, thank you for writing in.
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